Part One- Conner
Part Two- Grace
Part Three- The Education
Part Four- D-day
Dr. Kristen just happened to be in the office late that day and by the time we got back from getting his check it was 5:30pm Monday, December 19th. They said they would try and fit me in to just come in and they'd see. So while I'm there I am thinking I cannot handle a contraction here in front of anyone. My husband had to take the check to the bank so I was alone and hiding tears. As I came in she had someone in the office and one in the waiting room. The receptionist told me someone just canceled and they'd see me regardless.
I was standing against the wall and rocking and moaning and still had no idea that this was real labor since it had been going on for days. I thought it was just that I was wearing down not that they were really getting stronger. Kristen asked her next patient if they'd mind letting me go ahead and she was lovely and did. She felt for position and it was good and applied counter pressure to my hips and it was like the pain just went away and the moan went to a hum during the contractions.
When my husband came in she told us that we need to just go have the midwife check and see how things were going to relieve my mind. I was concerned they'd stay late or have to come in after hours just to send me home. I really did not get it. But I was having flashbacks of going in with Conner and being sent home again and again. She said she'd explain all that to them and let them know I was coming.
We arrived at the birth center at around 7pm and I was trying to apologize for calling them in when I was sure they'd send me home. They assured me there was no inconvenience and that Kristen let them know I was coming. They checked my progress and told me I wasn't going anywhere. My midwives prayed over me and being the therapist they are saw I was holding back. One of them stopped and said something to the effect of this: If you are feeling like your not strong enough, like something is going to happen, or your holding anything back let go of it. It's in your head, you can do this give it to God. I just cried and this peace fell over me.
Although I never really thought I'd have a water birth I kept going back to how much the shower helped. So when they offered the tub as a place to labor I jumped at it. We settled in with my IPOD playing our songs for birth and my husband reading our scriptures. Those who we called to be there and watch the children had them giggling downstairs which helped me through quite a few contractions. The videographer and photographer arrived. I barely even noticed they were there. It was like God himself stopped what He was doing and came down to be in that room. His words were so reassuring.
There was no way I was leaving the tub but didnt really realize I was kinda past the point of no return, I got sick and the midwife asked me if I felt like pushing. I didnt but soon after the pressure was soo strong I found myself pushing. I checked and could feel her head. They kept trying to get tones but I was growling and fussing. She crowned and her head was out in just a few pushes. They were all commenting when she opened her eyes and was just patiently waiting, blinking at them. With a few more pushes she was out and I had her in my arms. I pushed for 26 minutes and she was born at 9:38pm only two and a half hours after I arrived. At 7lbs 9oz 20 inches long. Mercy Lea Quinn. On her brother's third birthday only about an hour after he was born.
The kids and friends there came up to meet her and the most wonderful group of women prayed over her life and dedicated her to God. One of the best things was after we were checked for bleeding issues and vitals and got cleared..... we went home. That's right we went home. I felt so amazing! No drugs, no reactions, fully capable of walking. And in my own bed by 2am.
As I laid down with her that night I knew my whole world had changed. My faith had changed and in turn my hope for the impossible in life had been assured. Line upon line, precept upon precept. My God is able. My God showed his self strong. My God came and talked with me in the cool evening. He brought me through my valleys and mountains and honored my faith in Him. She will be a living reminder all her days of what God can and will do!!! She was here and my journey of faith was completed. But this is where the road to mercy really begins. Without His merciful hand this life would seem like wandering in the desert. Praise God for all He has done.